Lose the List

Recently I had a reunion with an old friend. It has been well over 6 years since we have chatted and caught up on life and I must admit it was incredible to see her and hear about all she has accomplished in her life, she is a total BOSS.

She is brilliant, humble, generous, hard working, successful, funny and an absolutely fascinating human!

As I sat there in awe listening to her fill me in on the last 6 years of her life, I slowly started to notice how the conversation began to take a turn. This incredible 31 year old woman began to diminish her entire life because she hadn’t tackled enough on her “life list", and as she talked about it more I sensed her level of frustration rise.

She wanted a marriage, a family, a big bank account, an award winning career, a promotion, a bigger house, a better body, a nicer car, a larger travel list, a dog, more freedom and less work hours...and these were just the ones I could remember.

I sat there, listened and empathiseed with her and we talked about the pressure we all tend to place on ourselves when it comes to checking the boxes on that infamous list...and let’s not forget each box has to be tackled in a certain amount of time.

She then slumped a little in her chair and without looking up from her coffee cup she quietly muttered...

"any advice?"

I sat there disheartened as I witnessed this beautiful, powerful, successful woman shrink to the size of a raisin, when just moments ago she held her head high and displayed a presence that filled the room.  I then opened my mouth and said the very first thing that came to my head…

Lose the list.

There is a very distinct difference between having wants and requirements. There is no deadline or a series of steps that you have to complete in a specific sequence in order to achieve ultimate happiness.  What if right now we got rid of this list of yours and instead made a new one? What if your new list looked a little like this:


  1. Choose to be happy, always.

  2. Engage in activities you love.

  3. Share your time with people you care about.

  4. Remain open to possibility, you never know where life is going to take you.

  5. Collect experiences.

  6. Build happy, healthy relationships.

  7. Have patience, for it is the key to mastering, excelling and achieving everything you hope for.

  8. Live in the present moment, you’ll be surprised just how quickly your timeline changes with this one.

  9. Change, evolve and grow, because what you want now may not always be what you need.

  10. Be grateful for something every single day.

Can you see how every single thing you have ever wanted fits within this list?

It’s all there, waiting for you. You are on your path of achieving the great life and you don’t even know it. This impossibly perfect list is hindering your daily experiences and more importantly your happiness.

Your life is happening RIGHT NOW.


This is the great life….it’s happening, you are in it. Great things take time, work, sacrifice and a relentless attitude to never give up.

So lose the list. I promise you it will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself!

Because this isn’t a race, a check box, a game or a fairy tale.

This is your life.

Lose the list or lose yourself...it really is that simple. In 20 years from now it won’t matter how you arrived….all that will matter is that you did.

So if you feel like the clock is ticking and you haven’t even started a race you thought you would have already won by now, my advice to you is this…

Throw the clock out the window, take your first step forward and enjoy every single minute of it.

As I came to the end of my little rant my friend looked at me with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile on her face and said…."Nicole, you haven’t changed a bit"….you should write a blog on this.

So I did.

Stay Inspired,